Dance After Dark Photography

Or at least a “How do you do?” with a handshake first. I mean, Sweet Mother McCree! I thought I was ordering checks, not the Great Anal Raping of ‘05. I didn’t know that the experience was likely to spawn a series of commemorative coins, each depicting me bent over a different piece of furniture with varied expressions of outrage, pain, and dismay.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Don’t order checks from your own @#$@% bank! Hot damn, but they stuck it to me good. I feel like I took a walk-on part in Deliverance II. I tried ordering online from two different websites. The first took my money and sent me an e-mail at least a week later saying that they needed a lot more information from the bank before they could complete my order. It smelled like a scam, so I chose the “decline and get a refund” option. I still haven’t seen that money. Liberty, the second company, just couldn’t complete the order because the address I wanted on the checks was different from what it had been previously. Liberty is the company my bank actually uses, and both were around the $10-20 mark, which is what I remember my checks being when I initially ordered them. To make it easier (and to finally GET checks about two months after running out), I submitted my third change of address form at the bank (which finally worked) and reordered checks in person.

So now I get the checks with a notice that $45.63 will be deducted from my account. For two boxes of checks. It’s my fault for not getting a price beforehand. I thought I had, but thinking back I realize that was one of the questions the English-deficient teller didn’t answer. Hell, nine times out of ten I’m equipped to repeat a question in the teller’s native tongue, but it didn’t work in this case because I don’t speak Farsi.

For the love of all that is holy, I only hope that I will remember this lesson when the next order time comes around. And I hope that I can find a good pillow. I think I’ll need some posterior cushioning for a few days. I feel so… violated. I need someone to hold me.

We all know where to go to donate. The Red Cross, the Salvation Army, or any number of other organizations. Remember that money is more effective than goods. If you can’t donate money, blood is the next best thing.

What I really want to talk about is something that rarely, if ever, gets publicized in the United States - offers of help that we receive from around the world. A few people I’ve talked to recently and several of my friends online have ranted about all of our foreign relief efforts and complained that we don’t receive help in return when a disaster strikes U.S. soil.

Bullshit. That’s ‘Merican propaganda bullshit. We may not accept all the help that’s offered because we’re arrogant as all hell, but that doesn’t mean the offers aren’t made. Another important thing to remember is that the American Red Cross is not the *only* Red Cross. It’s our branch. Here’s the International Committee of the Red Cross website. The same goes for the Salvation Army.

Here’s an article that lists condolences from other nations and offers of aid. I’m sure there’s much more that doesn’t get publicized in U.S. news. You’ve got to check foreign sources for that kind of thing.

It makes me mad when people indignantly complain about something without checking facts. Presumptuous, arrogant bastards.