Dance After Dark Photography

For those who aren’t familiar with the Rocket Science Chronicles, they started when I worked as an overnight dispatcher at AAA. I saw every call that came through and caught all of the dumb things done by co-workers and customers alike. Click on the “rocket science” category if you want to read the previous Chronicles. (Bear in mind that they were transferred from my LiveJournal, so this is a “best of” collection.}

On the way home from work tonight, I encountered a very slow driver in a red Lincoln. He was going about 25 in a 45mph zone, and he kept hitting the brakes at every crossroad. Of course he was in the left lane with no one at all in front of him. Because of traffic, it took me a while to safely get into the right lane and pass the guy. (It felt like an eternity.)

I had a bad feeling passing him, so I sped up to get ahead of him quickly. Sure enough, he nearly clipped my back corner when he got into the right lane behind me. Less than two minutes later, I saw him in my rearview mirror as he slowed down and turned left from the right lane, cutting off another car that was about to pass him and nearly hitting another guy headed in the opposite direction.

If you’re going to nominate yourself for a Darwin Award, at least try not to take other people with you.

I don’t often let people get to me, but this guy just didn’t seem to understand the nature of computers. He was running a traceroute out through the network and back to his own static IP address and getting timeouts & slow responses. I explained that certain parts of the network limit traceroute traffic to improve overall performance, so a timeout may not really indicate a problem. We ran a few different speedtests as an alternate measure, and he got near-stellar results on every one.

Still not satisfied, he said:
“I don’t care what the speedtest says. That’s not the speed I’m actually getting. You have to resolve this.”

Well, sir, a web-based speedtest is dependent on network traffic, so it can return results a little slower than the speeds you’re actually getting, but I don’t believe it’s possible for a speedtest to give you results that are higher than your actual speed unless there’s a problem with your computer or your local network. Even then, it would generally reflect network problems. That’s why we ask that you bypass all of your equipment and connect directly to ours to compare results.

Went on for about 20 minutes because he insisted his network was fine. Finally, as a “we won’t just give up on you” measure, I referred him to our speed department via e-mail. I knew they couldn’t do anything further, but at least it gave him an option. The guy never quite broke the Rude Threshold, but he wasn’t accepting what I told him. I don’t B.S. people, so having someone flat-out deny a pretty clear fact bothered me. On Christmas Eve, no less.

Imagine my surprise when the guy called back 5 minutes later to apologize. He had an issue with his firewall slowing down traffic on a few major ports. 80 was good, hence the speedtest results, but his traceroutes and some of his other dealings were being slowed to a crawl. He asked for my supervisor to thank me for remaining professional and helpful despite (in his words) “my attitude and unprofessionalism.”

You just don’t get that very often. A genuinely nice person who can admit to being wrong and make the effort to call back and apologize. Blew my mind.

The Rocket Science Chronicles have slowed down considerably since my days at AAA. I deal with computers and some rather sophisticated networks now which have the potential for greater complexity and frustration, but on the whole the people I deal with are more professional and more reasonable. Thus fewer Rocket Scientists find their way to me. However, this guy was a real gem.

The call started off with a 10 minute preamble which basically amounted to “I’m a high-paid lawyer, so obviously I’m very smart and important. In fact, you should pay me for deigning to talk to you.” After all of that, what was his question?

“Does my e-mail come in when my computer is turned off?”

Well, yes. It will still come to your inbox on the mail server. It just can’t get to your computer until you turn the computer on and check your mail.

“That’s unacceptable. I get important messages throughout the day. I can’t have them delayed just because my computer is off. I want this fixed now.”

(on the inside) Well, sir, we could try beaming it into your brain as you sleep, but we fried the last guy we tried that with. So I’ll just sign you up for the experiment, then? Good.

Mom & I went to the gym before I went to work this morning. I had told her I’d be getting up between 6:00 and 6:30, and I invited her to come to the gym with me. At 5:50, she knocked on my door to ask if we were still going. Little mix-up there with the distinction between getting up at 6:00 and leaving at 6:00. We worked that out.

So I crashed again for another 30 minutes, but we left the house at 6:30 and headed off to YMCA. Got there at 7:00 and worked out for an hour. I cut things short just to get out at 8:00, but in 5 exercises I lifted a grand total of 12,780 lbs.

It’s always depressing to look at what I’ve done and see how few calories I’ve burned. I don’t do much cardio, so the returns are always low. However, I figured out that with the 4 miles of kayaking I did yesterday I managed to burn about 1,300 calories.

I don’t see myself turning into a calorie counter, but it’s nice to have the numbers to back up what I’ve already experienced. Kayaking is damn good exercise! My shoulders and arms feel great after I’ve done it, and I don’t have trouble breathing like when I go running. I’m thinking about buying a kayak so I can hit some other places. I’m not brave or dumb enough to try Lake Jessup, but I’d like to explore some of the islands on the eastern edge of Lake Monroe.

I went kayaking today after a long and stressful round of playing chauffer. Mom & I had fun, but I was so exhausted by 2:00 that I thought I’d pack up my camera and just wander around the Wekiva Springs State Park for a while. I’ve been itching to get back into a kayak, so just in case I packed my camera in a plastic bag with a small towel. Sure enough, by the time I got to the park I’d convinced myself to go paddling again. I’m glad I did.

Coming downriver, I just relaxed and let the current do most of the work. I saw an anhinga sunning itself in a rare bright patch along the bank. For the most part, it was cloudy and a little chilly. No photo, though, because I was still a little unsteady in the single kayak. It was much smaller than any I’ve used before, and I nearly dunked myself just after getting in. A bit further downriver, I saw a red-shouldered hawk making several passes back & forth over the water. She decided against diving, either because the target eluded her or because I got too close. I paddled on to leave her in pace. Saw several turtles and another anhinga. Too cold for the alligators today, although I did see a baby right alongside the kayak as I drifted. He swam off as soon as I moved for the camera.

Considering my lack of photographic success, imagine my surprise when, as I was power-paddling back upstream with the sun mercilessly in my eyes, I passed beneath an upthrust branch of one of the downed trees and saw the same red-shouldered hawk - this time no more than three feet away. She just watched me as I passed beneath her. I paddled a little upstream to take a few pictures. They’re a little blurred because there wasn’t much light and I was in a very light kayak bobbing on the river. I might stick with double kayaks in the future just for the stability. Still, it was a treat getting to see her so close.

Even better is the knowledge that I covered about 4 miles in an hour and a half, including a good 40 minutes of heavy cardio as I fought my way back upstream at the best speed I could manage. I’m still feeling the workout. That was nice.